The beer v wine debate has raged for centuries so we at www.thesmoko.com.au are going to settle it for good. In order to do this we have undertaken a study in the benefits and drawbacks that each beverage supplies to humanity. Here are our conclusions:

Wine is good for your health?

In contrast the only health related claim for beer is that it is responsible for the beer gut. In fact it has been suggested in various worldwide studies that beer drinkers tend to live on a diet of sausages, butter, bacon and sugar. On the other side wine drinkers tend to live on a diet of fresh vegetables, fruit, grains, lean meats, fresh air and pure spring water. In fact most wine drinkers will tell you that they actually breath in Carbon Dioxide and exhale Oxygen, thus rendering the rest of us filthy, environmental bandits.

Verdict:

Wine may be better for your health, but more research is required.

Alcohol content

With an average alcohol content around 12% wine, with the exception of a few Belgian beers far outweighs the the average 4.5% - 5.0% contained in most beers. If you are a raging alcoholic you may consider wine rather than beer to be the better value buy. Wine makers are aware of this and subsequently provide many cask delivered varieties that in many cases are cheaper than water. You will however not find beer available in this format, beer is clearly not targeting the compulsive drinkers out there. This could mean that brewers are much more confident than the average wine maker. Noting this, it does raise the question of “does schoolyard bullying turn victims into wine makers?” With less alcohol the brewers are forced to focus on their taste not hide behind a higher alcohol content.

Verdict:

More alcohol will get you pissed quicker, but unfortunately will not increase your social status.

Drinkability

Never has a man come home from a hard day in the coal mine after sweating for 9 hours straight in an oxygen starved environment and said. “I am buggered, get me a nice glass of red darling”. Never has a man gone to footy, grabbed a pie and said “Man, I would give a nut for a nice Pinot right about now?”. If per chance you have heard someone say this, it will be a clear indication that they are a terrorist and are planning some sort of mass terrorist attack. Feel free to report them to your local authorities.

While wine has its place, most notably next to a good steak or over any nice meal for that matter. Wine will always be limited to certain situations. Unfortunately however there are still some social situations in which neither a beer or wine will be appropriate. For example, should you be considering taking an esky full of piss to parent teacher night at your kids primary school it may be a good idea to re think this, then book yourself in for your first AA meeting.

Verdict:

Wine may be a little more impressive, but beer is much more drinkable and versatile.

Conclusion

The debate will go on and both have their similarities. Drink either to excess and you could be in danger attempting to pick up your wife’s hot friend. In the morning if you have to explain to your wife, you weren’t really telling her friend that things weren’t going well in your relationship and that you had noticed there had always been this “thing” between you two. It will be safe to say that neither wine or beer might have been the best option. Unless of course you did manage to pick up the friend and your wife thought it was a good idea to join you two. In which case we stand corrected.

Beer wins by a length.