Craig’s tasting


Have you ever asked someone how they are doing and been told something like “ahh not bad, I’d be better if it was the weekend?”


I have, because every day I am lucky enough to meet many uninspired and absolutely uninteresting people. I am sure you know the people I am talking about. They are the same ones that complain about not getting paid enough, that the government is making their life very hard and that the price of everything these days is out of control.


The very worst of these people are the ones who would pull their kids out of soccer because they don’t have enough money once they have bought a couple of packs of cigarettes each week. These people think it is just wrong that their kids have to miss out just because the government wants to make a bit more cash from increasing the taxes on their cigarettes.


While I have now turned another review into a self indulgent rant, I must admit that the reason for it is the fact that Birra Moretti has left me completely uninspired. It’s lack of distinctive taste and unmemorable other features leave me thinking things like “have I wasted the last 30 years?” and “would anyone really miss me if I was gone?”.


If I want a beer without a distinctive taste I can get that from any Asian country. I expect a little more from a European beer.

Danny’s tasting


Birra Moretti was the last of the Italian beers we recently tried.  It was readily available for sale when I was in Sicily and I had heard that it is a favourite of certain “families” there. Yes it seems that people in “waste management” can’t get enough of it.


To test this theory out we had our foreign beer correspondent undertake some polling and the last report we received from him showed that 6 out of 10 Sicilian Standover Men rated Moretti as their favourite lager, 3 threatened physical violence and 1 fired a warning shot over his head. Come to think of it we haven’t heard from our guy in a long time. Don’t know what to make of that. I hope our “Man on the ground” has not become our “Man in the ground”.


I had thought Moretti could use some “outside the box” thinking as far as advertising is concerned and I’ve come up with a TV add that I’m trying to shop around Sicily that I think will appeal to this clientele.  It’s loosely based on the old VB TV adds we had in Australia in the 1980’s and it goes a little bit like this:


Some people get it owning a brewery

Some people get it fixing a jury

You can feel it coming on round 4 (if we say you can)


That hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer and the best cold beer is Moretti, Birra Moretti


It can come at any time


You can get it fitting cement shoes

You can get it making an offer he can’t refuse

You can get it screaming in pain YOW!

Matter of fact I got it now.


That hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer and the best cold beer is Moretti, Birra Moretti


I’ve not had any formal response from the breweries as yet but I reckon that the guy that has recently taken to following me everywhere I go and sits in his car across the road in the shadows all night long would like it.


Anyway in summary I would rate it ahead of Menebrea but not as well as Messina, 7.5

Birra Moretti


Now part of the Heineken International juggernaut Birra Moretti first went to market in 1859 in the town of Udine. Today the beer is sold in over 40 countries and while the Birra Moretti brewery may no longer produce the beer it retains the same name and almost exactly the same recipe as its first batch.


Origin: Udine, Italy (now a Heineken brewed beer)

Alcohol/vol: 4.6%

Style: Pale Lager


Average Rating: 6.75 

May appeal on random occasions. Not all the time