Craig’s tasting

If paying the rent or meeting the mortgage payments are more important to you than drinking quality beer, then there is not much point in reading on....If however you are quite happy live off 2 minute noodles for a week in order save enough cash to enjoy a few of these, then please keep reading.

In Australia you are doing well if you can find these in a bottle shop for about $7.00 a bottle. By my calculations that is about $168.00 a slab! If indeed you can find it in slab form.

In life there are a few certainties; death, taxes and hot women not being interested in me. In addition to these you could also add the fact the expensive and good more often than not go hand in hand, no matter what you are talking about. Its a simple demand/supply equation.

Chimay Red embodies everything that is good about beer. It is silky smooth on the palate and its ever so subtle fruity aroma combined with a hint of sweetness excites your senses with every sip.

The hearty alcohol content and warm colour complete the sensual experience. It also makes me want me to provide a full list of tasting notes that describe the beautiful offerings that make this beer one of the great things about life. Alas I am simply unable. no description could do any justice.

I am just going to shut up and encourage you to get into it too.

Danny’s tasting

Brewed by the Trappist Monks of Belgium, this 7% offering has to be sampled to be believed. It is slightly red in colour and has a sweet (but not excessively so) taste that says “if you take the time to sip me, you’ll appreciate me”, and at 7% and $6.50 a 330ml stubbie you just about have to take it slow. It’s as good at the end as when you start. I think the monks are on to something here. Who would have thought beer and religion could go hand in hand.

Father Theodore is accredited as the person who specifically selects the yeast for this brew and this, combined with pure mountain water, produces a wonderful offering. I believe a fitting comparison can be made to the crotchless panty, in that sightings of this are extremely rare. You know that it’s going to cost twice as much as a normal one, but damn it’s nice to know it exists out there in the real world.

Given that it’s made by monks it started me wondering if god had a hand in its making, and if you know where to look on the internet you can find the following references in the most holy of texts;

“and the lord did sayeth unto the monks, go forth and breweth me an ale of complex taste and unsurpassed flavour and yee will be richly rewarded, but take heed and breweth me not a Becks, lest I smite thee. And lo didst the monks do as they were commanded, and laboured long and tirelessly until they didst create Chimay and the lord was happy, and there was much rejoicing and merriment (and the eating of pretzel shaped bread, the odd dip and other assorted finger foods)”

Chimay is heaven sent and endorsed by god. It’s clearly what he or she drinks.

I give it 8.5.

Here endeth the lesson

Chimay Red

Brewed by the Cistercian Trappist monks of Chimay since 1862. Along with all Trappist breweries the beer is sold only to provide financial support for the monastery and its charitable causes. Chimay Red is also known as Chimay Rouge or Premiere.

Origin: Scourmont Abbey, Belgium

Alcohol/vol: 7.0%

Style: Ale

Average Rating: 9.00 

Nectar of the gods