After reading an article from journalist Jessica Craven in the Herald Sun Newspaper. An article that among other things outlined the demise of VB Raw we at the thesmoko.com.au were devastated. So devastated that in true thesmoko.com.au form we decided that rather than do some more research to better understand the events that lead to its death. We thought we might just say a few kind words and send out our best wishes to VB Raw’s parents VB and VB Gold.

“VB Raw, age 1, of no fixed address Australia, died sometime in October, 2010 as a result of injuries sustained in a low carb beer war at the hands of over zealous beer executives. He was born in 2009 in Australia, the son of VB and VB Gold. He was raised in  Sydney and attended a few 21st birthday parties before being regularly invited to many BBQ’s. VB Raw was soon to be enrolled in Carlton and United Breweries University where he hoped to graduate with a degree in the creation of mass happiness.

VB Raw is survived by his parents VB and VB Gold also of Sydney, also by loving brother Carlton Draught and his older sister Carlton Pure Blonde. He also leaves his maternal grandparents,  Sheaf Stout and Melbourne Bitter, of Melbourne Australia; and his paternal grandparents, Fosters Lager and Cascade of Tasmania.  He was known as a ladies man  but he will of course be missed by his one true love Corona Extra. A love affair many said would not last given her much publicised affair with Lemon. VB Raw will also be missed by his good childhood friend Samuel Adams. Despite their relationship being regularly tested with Samuel being unable to spend much time in Australia.

Funeral arrangements are being handled by Carlton & United Breweries and a viewing will be held in a few select liquor stores who have been unable to move stock from the shelves. In lieu of flowers, the brewery asks that you consider donations to the company via the purchase of other brands available in their range. Any donation will help make this difficult time much more bearable for the company.”