Craig’s tasting

Where to start with Grolsch? While completing my research on Grolsch premium lager I went through the traditional fives stages of beer appreciation. So rather than carry on with some irrelevant story I think it might be best to take you through my journey.

Stage 1 - Excitement

Couldn’t wait to try it, hadn’t tasted it for a number of years but bought a 6 pack of flip tops on my way home from work because they were on special.

Stage 2 - Satisfaction

Drank all six 500ml flip top bottles in one sitting and walked away proud of my effort, although my ability to review with any logic was severely diminished.

Stage 3 - Desire

I wanted more and the next smoko research session was coming up. I promptly purchased more, in the form of  330ml steel cap bottles.

Stage 4 - Anger

Upon re-tasting Grolsch I realised its pilsenerish aroma and awkward taste made me want kick my dog, argue with my girlfriend and draw up a resignation letter to give to my boss on Monday.

Stage 5 - Self hatred

I hated my self when I realised. I don’t have a dog, my girlfriend is a quite nice to me and I actually like my job.

I continued to be baffled by my experience until, like a beacon of light it came to me. Grolsch is a beer that complements a great environment rather than creates one.

My recommendation is to enjoy a Grolsch when you are in a great mood because it will struggle to do anything for you while you are in any other state.

Danny’s tasting

It is a little known fact that in 1864 apprentice brewer Johannes Petrus van den Grolsch and his younger brother Colin attempted to set up a brewery in the home of beer, Bavaria. However under German Beer Purity laws the addition of smelly socks in the fermentation process was not allowed.

Disappointed but undaunted they decided to stick closer to home and set up shop in their native Holland, and from all accounts have gone gang busters ever since.

Grolsch lager is a “bottom fermented” beer. An interesting term but not one to be used recklessly in a pub otherwise you may be afforded the opportunity to view the ceiling tiles from a prone position if taken the wrong way.

I find that when rating a beer I’m quite prepared to call a spade a f#c#ing shovel but what I’m not prepared to do is suggest that all things Grolsch are horrible, just this one.

Grolsch brew in quite a range of styles and I look forward to trying their other beers with as much anticipation as any other brewery as should you the reader, but ultimately love this or loathe this you’d be mad not to loathe it.

Ok, maybe I’m being too critical but then again maybe, just maybe, this stuff is bad…………yep it’s bad.

Nice re-sealable bottle though.

Grolsch Premium Lager

The Grolsch brewery is best known for its premium pilsener lager, although it brews a number of other beers for the worldwide market. The brewer is the second largest by production volume in Holland, second only to Heineken. The brewery was originally established in Groenlo but is now located in Enschede.

Origin: Enschede, Holland

Alcohol/vol: 5.0%

Style: Pilsener Lager

Average Rating: 5.50 

May appeal on random occasions. Not all the time