Craig’s tasting

If you ever get the chance to drive an Aston Martin you will immediately notice the attention to detail, the smooth handling and raw power that oozes from every nook and cranny. It is after all, one of the worlds finest vehicles. At least thats what is looks like on James Bond movies anyway.

If you ever get the chance to wear a Swiss made Longines watch, you will be aware that the graceful styling and smooth movement is unattainable by many other watchmakers. At least thats what I would tell people if I ever got to be in the same room as one.

When you drink a Tsing Tao you will immediately notice a compromising flavour coupled with an unsurprisingly difficult to swallow taste.

Tsing Tao may be from the country that gave us just about everything we use on a daily basis. But.... and this is a big Oprah style butt......

The day the world starts moving its beer production to China is the day I actually get to drive an Aston Martin. Quite clearly this means it is never going to happen. Tsing Tao is the living bubbling example of why home grown beers are always going to be better. Unless of course you are living in China, in which case you may prefer imported beers.

Danny’s tasting

I believe it was Confucius who said it best in his great literary work “Pub Crawl in China, a Philosophers Journey” when he said  “情更好地與啤酒”  and I’d pretty much have to agree with him on that point. He also said “pilsener  愛好者吮吸” which shows just how perceptive he was and if he were alive today he’d be writing reviews for us.

He then went on to say “帕拉瑪塔無法取勝”  showing Nostradamus like insight. If I’d known that, years ago I’d have saved heaps of money and a lot of grief. Don’t ask me how he knew.

But when it came to Tsing Tao he was quite specific when he said  “大胸部最好，誰讓狗了，飛行香蕉收集沒有網球，我不知道她是你的妻子” Which if you translate through Google Language Tools –Chinese to Aust, show that he was speaking complete and utter jibberish? As a result he will not be referred to further in this review.

But what of the beer? Tsing Tao has traces of Pilsener colour and aroma. This is a common trait of a lot of Asian beers which seem to be influenced by European brewers. I can’t say I’m a fan but I can see some people liking Tsing Tao. I bet they wear socks with their sandals and have a different coloured pocket protector for each day of the week.

I give this a 6 (may appeal on odd occasions) but you have to wonder how, in such a religious culture like China, this beer gets spiritual approval.

I heard a rumour that when the brewers initially prayed for a blessing the incoming prayer was received, not by Hop Sing the normal receptionist but by Bev the temp who was filling in that morning. Now Bev didn’t understand Chinese very well and instead of sending it to  上帝  the god of Asian beers, directed the prayer to Reg, the patron saint of drinking way too much and falling down. True to form Reg was face down in a spiritual gutter after drinking way to much Chimay (price is no object to the divine). To complete the comedy of errors, Reg thought he was being asked to bless a Prawn and Noodle stir fry dish so he gave it heavenly approval. When he was told what he had done he mumbled something incoherent and fell over so the blessing was never rescinded.

At least that’s what I was told.

Tsing Tao

Tsing Tao was first brewed in 1903 by the Tsingtao brewery. Today the beer is sold in 62 countries and it is the number one selling Chinese beer. The beer is described as having a “nutty sweet” taste that is designed to compliment spicy or flavourful Asian cuisine.

Origin: Qingdao, China

Alcohol/vol: 4.8%

Style: Lager

Average Rating: 5.75 

May appeal on random occasions. Not all the time.